When Your Child Wants to Give Up: What They Need From Us Instead

“I can't do it.” “I've been trying FOREVER.” “Everyone else can do it except me.”

“I just want to quit.”

If you're raising a kid, there's a pretty good chance you've heard at least one of those. Maybe all four before breakfast. 😂

And as parents and coaches, our first instinct is usually to fix it.

“Yes you can!” | “Don't give up!” | “You're doing great!”

Those words come from a good place. But sometimes, when a child is genuinely frustrated, they need something more than encouragement. They need someone to help them learn how to struggle. And that's one of the reasons we're focusing on Perseverance at Tumble Shine this October.

Struggling Isn't the Same as Failing

Kids are growing up in a world where they see a lot of finished products. They see the beautiful tumbling pass. The perfect craft. The winning routine. The kid who can solve the math problem. What they don't always see are the hundreds of attempts that came first.

That's especially obvious in the gym.

An athlete might watch another child perform a back handspring and think:

“Why can she do it and I can't?”

What they don't see is how many drills that athlete has done. How many corrections she's received. How many times she didn't land it. How many classes she attended before everything finally clicked. Success usually has a pretty messy beginning.

Our Kids Need Permission to Be Beginners

This is a BIG one. Being new at something can feel uncomfortable. When kids aren't immediately good at something, some will decide:

“I'm just not good at this.”

But what if we helped them replace that sentence with:

“I'm still learning this.”

That's a completely different mindset. You don't have to be good at something the first time.

You don't even have to be good at it the tenth time. You just have to be willing to learn, adjust and try again. That's perseverance.

Our October newsletter puts it this way: perseverance means continuing to try when something is hard, frustrating or doesn't happen right away. It teaches kids that mistakes aren't failures—they're part of learning and growing.

Sometimes “Keep Trying” Isn't the Answer

This might sound funny coming from a gym where we regularly say:

We Never…Give Up!

But hear us out. 😉

Perseverance doesn't mean pushing through something endlessly while becoming more and more frustrated.

Sometimes a child needs to: Take a break. Ask for help. Go back to an easier step. Try a different approach. Listen to a correction. Practice one small piece instead of the whole thing. Then come back and try again. That's why our October Tumble Tip encourages athletes to go back to their drills, focus on good form and keep practicing when a skill feels difficult. Every attempt is helping their body learn—even the attempts that don't land.

Knowing how to keep going is just as important as deciding not to quit.

What Can Parents Say?

The next time your child is frustrated, instead of immediately saying: “Don't give up!”

Try getting curious.

“Which part feels the hardest?”

“What's one little part you CAN do?”

“What did you do better this time?”

“Do you need help, a different approach or a little break?”

And one of our favorites:“You don't have to get it today.”

Imagine how freeing that can feel to a child.They don't have to prove anything right now.

They don't have to keep up with the kid beside them. They just have to keep learning.

Praise the Comeback, Not Just the Accomplishment

Of course we're going to celebrate when an athlete gets a new skill! Those moments are AWESOME. 🎉 But there's another moment worth celebrating just as loudly.

The child who gets frustrated… walks away… regroups… and comes back to try again.

That's a win. The athlete who finally asks their coach for help instead of saying, “I can't.”

That's a win. The child who cheers for a teammate who gets the skill before they do.

That's a win. The athlete who doesn't land it but says, “Can I try one more time?”

BIG win. Because someday they won't be struggling with a cartwheel or a back handspring.

It might be a difficult class. A job interview. A friendship. A goal that takes years instead of weeks. We won't always be standing beside them telling them what to do next. But hopefully that little voice we've helped build inside them will say:

This is hard. I haven't figured it out yet. But I know how to keep going.

And THAT is why teaching perseverance matters. 💙

A Little Fall Break Reminder 🍂

We're enjoying Fall Break Day Camp October 5–9, while our regularly scheduled evening classes are closed this week for staff training, deep cleaning and routine maintenance. Regular programming will resume after the scheduled closure.

And then we're getting ready for one of our favorite fall traditions!

🎃 Trunk or Treat — October 17 | 4–6 PM

Our annual Trunk or Treat is a FREE, family-friendly community event at Tumble Shine!

Want to decorate a trunk and join the fun? Participating families can receive a $20 credit toward November tuition. 

Then stick around because later that night we're having our:

🌟 Glow Party — October 17 | 7–9 PM

October is full of fun, but it's also full of opportunities to teach our kids something that will last much longer than any tumbling skill:

Hard Work…Pays Off.

We Never…Give Up. 💙

— Your Motivated & Dedicated Coaches